Dear {Recipient},

So I hear you're a little broken. I am glad that you're getting treated at the hospital, but I was dismayed to learn that they were treating you for a broken {appendage} rather than fixing the real problem.

I am, of course, referring to your broken Driver's Bone. It's something that most people have that keeps them from playing bumper cars in the middle of the freeway. You may want to have them check it anyway before they give you a weapon as dangerous as {a wheelchair, crutches, etc.}

It's a good thing that you're going to be fine. I almost had to tell you how worried I was about you and how sorry I was to hear that your car was totaled.

On the upside, now you can take a bat to that piece of junk on wheels, just like you always wanted.

Love,

{Sender}